Thursday, October 21, 2010

Ye old (jr.) Varsity.

Congratulations, Michael!

You have been accepted to Metropolitan Community College-Kansas City (Blue River, Business and Technology, Longview, Maple Woods and Penn Valley).

Huzzah! Today I got my automated form e-mail announcing that I had been accepted to the arts program at MCC. That's right, graphic arts, web development, design classes...

Break out the sweat pants and limber up for beer pong, we are going back to college! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S...

Wait...what do you mean this is for professional development at work? Well, at least we will have co-eds, questionable drugs, terrible life decisions and limited adult supervision?

No? Not at all?! Oh good lord, I need to consult my attorney before I go do anything else.

Let's just hope I am more like Joel McHale and not Chevy Chase when I head back into the classroom.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Awesome at 88 mph

If you were unawares, this is the 25th Anniversary for the GREATEST. MOVIE. EVER... Back To the Future.

As such, there is a lot of fanfare and celebration around the trilogy and its promises of hoverboards and flying cars by the year 2015.

(Come on Doc, you got 5 years to wow me)

In the meantime enjoy this awesome photo shoot with M.J. Fox and Lea Thompson for Entertainment Weekly with my favorite character in the whole trilogy - The Delorean.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Performance rider for The Wednesday Weekly

TO: Chairman of meeting requesting Mike Ekey's attendance
FROM: The department of legal (and extramarital) affairs
RE: Your meeting

Dear ___________,

We are thrilled that you, hereto referred to as THE CHAIRMAN, has requested Mike Ekey, hereto referred to as THE ARTIST, to attend your meeting to discuss matters related to: Marketing, public relations, bartending,  and/or the breeding of small goats.

As per the Outlook Calendar notification, THE ARTIST will arrive at your meeting on time and will be present for the duration only if the room get adequate cellular or Wi-Fi service compatible with THE ARTISTS current phone/device. If this is not possible, then expect THE ARTIST to leave periodically to check his Words With Friends account and random text messages.

Also, to accommodate THE ARTIST, our team has made several non-negotiable, requests before we can proceed:

I) Craft Table:
     A) Morning meeting - If the meeting is to begin before NOON then THE CHAIRMAN will provide a breakfast spread consisting of doughnuts, bagels and/or fresh fruit. Three varieties of bagel smear will also be available. Beverages will consist of fresh fruit juice (absolutely no juices from concentrate), Coca Cola products and water. No Coffee.

              1) If the meeting is to take place before 9 A.M., then THE CHAIRMAN must provide a hot breakfast spread of ham and egg sandwiches on wheat bread or croissant. Heinz Ketchup must also be available along with fresh fruit and an assortment of juices (see above). Whether you serve bacon or sausage is entirely up to you, but one must be present.

              2) Coffee - Although THE ARTIST does not drink coffee, there must be some readily available so the artist can instead request hot water for his Green Tea, which will be provided by you. Do not prepare the hot water ahead of time as this request is made at the meeting only to delay THE CHAIRMAN and the meeting itself.

     B) Afternoon meeting - If the meeting is to take place after NOON then THE CHAIRMAN will provide at least three types of savory snacks including, but not limited too: Cashews, almonds, potato chips (kettle cooked only), pub mix (Costco only), Chex Mix, trail mix, etc.

          1) Beverages - A variety of Coca Cola products must be available along with various waters from differing regions.

II) Meeting length:
     A) While it is possible for the meeting to last more than an hour it is highly discouraged. If it must last more than an hour the following items must be present for the entertainment of THE ARTIST:
          1) Lego bricks - At least two sets of Lego bricks must ready to be given once THE ARTIST looses interest in your presentation. Once opened, the Lego sets will become the property of THE ARTIST.
          2) Board Games - A variety of board games including, but not limited to: Scrabble, Risk, Stratego, etc. must be present as well. Once opened the games also become property of THE ARTIST.

III) Other items that will be on hand and given to THE ARTIST
1. All relevant points from the presentation will be printed and bound before meal service at the meeting.
2. All notes that need to be taken during the meeting should be pre-written
3. Any e-mails referenced in the meeting will be printed and bound in chronological order
4. Meeting notes from all previous meetings that might be referenced or talk about in this meeting
5. A package of fresh white socks and t-shirts
6. A liter of Old Crow Bourbon