Friday, October 30, 2009

NaNoWriMo is FoSho


Folks, get ready to dress in all black and drink coffee non-stop. That's righ, It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers! — which, in all honesty, means it is also National Write a Novel Month.

Break out the Moleskines and dust off you favorite literary plot twists ... like those secret 40-year-old dwarfs ... because this month I am writing a novel. A trope and work of literary genius that you sorry saps have never before seen. You will be so moved you will laugh, cry and gush blood from every orifice.

There will be action, booze, adventure, women, booze and intrigue... did I mention booze? Whiskey most likely.

Sure, I have subjected you to the rantings and ravings of one lone drunk here these past six years, but this will be different. Probably only because there will be less swearing... maybe.

To be honest, by the time Dec 1 rolls around I might actually find that I have nothing more than a 50K-word Wednesday Weekly post. But you jerks seem to enjoy that kind of painful treatment... and, well, I am not one to deprive my vapid audience of those pleasures.

Hell, if this project fails at least I can fall back on the fact that it is also No Shave November.

Remember this guy?


Sure you do. That mustache says, "Yeah, I've been naked in front of a camera..."

So who will join me and write a Novel — and grow a beard?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

We need to talk.

It is rare that I come up from the basement to assault the rest of my family with questions. But when some of life's big pressing questions need answers, I must ascend and ask the masses.

"Hey, Mom, I have something I need to ask you."

"Sure, is everything alright?"

"Well, I was digging around in the basement ... and I found something."


"Anyway... I did not know what ...exactly, you know, you might be planning or if you even had plans or were going to use them. But, I found a bunch of unopened Lego sets downstairs ... old ones ... and ... can I open them?"

"Good god, Michael, I thought this was something serious."

"This IS serious..."

"You're an idiot. Yes, go play with the Legos."


Sunday, October 25, 2009

These bruises mean it was a good weekend.

In the morning it was morning and I was still alive.
Maybe I'll write a novel, I thought.
And then I did.


"I am going to get serious about writing again," said one writer to another.
"Were you ever serious about writing to begin with?" he said.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

It's in the Zeitgeist...

The Ghost Busters have been floating in the ether these past few weeks. I assume it has something to do with Halloween — ghosts and all the non-sense.

OR maybe it has something to do with Bill Murray being the funniest human being alive.

"Any regrets?"

"Well, Garfield, I guess..."

Either way, this clip of a dude with too much time on his hands — and an affinity for puppet monkeys — made me pee little with laughter.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"The book you are reading is just frightening..."


She offended me from the second she cleared her throat to get my attention.

"You should know not to read that in public, right?"

I had been reading Naked Lunch for just more than a week both privately and publicly but had never been hassled for so much as bending on the spine on the book. But I guess I should have expected as much sitting in a library deep in the heart of Red State Kansas.

From the second the old bird opened her mouth I knew she had no idea what she was talking about. She only knew the title meant something Bad.

She had heard of the title from her fellow compatriots and God-fearing citizens as they would rally around bon-fires stoked with books and other items deemed Un-American garbage.

The book was originally published in France... So I guess she had a point.

But we have already jumped the gun and gotten off point.

I have spent the last few weeks reading some of the dregs of the literary world. Diving into pages of some of the most twisted and irresponsible human beings to ever publish the written English language.

From Vonnegut to Burroughs, I am now tromping through the latest tale of Gonzo with HST's transcribed interviews in the Ancient Gonzo Wisdom. The advanced copy was forwarded to me from my "Friend on the inside" in the publishing kingdom.

Still, I am afraid with so much tale of drugs, sex and rock and roll, I might need to find something a little...tamer for my next read. Then again, maybe not.

So Wednesday Weekly readers I am seeking recommendations. Preferably Fiction... don't disappoint me... you already have so many times in the past.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My genius is staggering... my spelling? not so much.


A friend of mine was deleting friends on her MyFaces... As part of the process I decided to submit a small proposal as to why I should not be eliminated from her Friend Fiefdom.

I think my argument is quite valid. I am the perfect friend for all things that Facebook is used for.

And so it starts...

Illinois State Basketball locker room

Practices officially started this weekend at Division 1 basketball schools all across these great United State of America.

As baseball winds down (thank god) and Football is becoming an utter disappointment, I am glad basketball is right around the corner.

I already have rooms booked for me for many of the Illinois State games at home. I get the feeling the drive between Bloomington-Normal and KC is going to become a very familiar trip very soon.

Check here for more photos coming in November.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

An Idea.

Some have floated the idea that I should teach elementary school.

This is what Hunter S. Thompson has to say:

"Getting into rumbles without having any idea what you're doing is dangerous. I did it, but I learned. There are some basic rules. For one thing, any crowd or gang can murder you—no matter what kind of crowd. A crowd of schoolgirls can kill you."

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The NBA in KC was OK

Sprint Center

The NBA (read: two former KU players and a K-state player) was at the Sprint Center Thursday night under the guise of "Look, everybody, an NBA team CAN survive in KC!"

It was interesting to see and was heavily attended — by the press. I know the hoopla was going to be fairly tepid since it was not only a Thursday, but also the same night as a baseball playoff game AND college football on The TV.

Still, the place did look fairly packed with "fans" by halftime.

Not sure how accurate the 17,611 attendance total was when it was announced considering some of the people I talked too in the upper rafter seats said they bought tickets after the game started on the street for only $10 bucks.

I doubt the NBA could guarantee a $10 ticket price if we did get a team and I HIGHLY doubt they could even pull in that kind of engaged crowd without half the players on the court being from the area already...

Chalmers 2

Chalmers wearing 6 and Dwayne Wade in the background.

Click here for more photos from the night.

Saturday, October 10, 2009



Seems the only time I ever go to church anymore is when someone gets married. Even then it is only because of the promise of food, booze and bridesmaids...

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Soldiers Field

Soldiers Field Veterans wall

ROCHESTER, Minn. — The Soldiers Field Veterans Wall is one of the few attractions in this hospital-centric town. My tour of Rochester included a driving tour of the city and its restaurants as well as a walking tour of the massive medical complex that is the Mayo Clinic.

But this was the only place we really even got out and walked through.

The smoothed granite walls hold the names of every person from Rochester who died in a U.S. war/conflict from as far back as the Civil War.

We didn't know anyone so we were just there killing time before our next appointment.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

These Kabobs are not to be trifled with


At the crack of dawn we loaded into a sporty mini-van and made our way to the asphalt fields of Arrowhead Stadium to begin the weekly tradition of grilling meats and drinking at an ungodly hour of 8 a.m.

We had never been there, but those around us... teeming with experience... knew all to well that the tailgate, those few precious hours before the game started, was the only highlight to this Football Sunday.

At the helm of the grill we feasted on steaks and scallops, Shrimps and bacon. Then washed it all down with our Whiskey Teas and Gin Fizzes (because straight whiskey is never a good idea that early in the morning).

For more on the mayhem that is a tailgate, click here. If you are looking for good game photos. Tough.