Thursday, October 30, 2008


Last night we broke the law and bent rules of decency and good manners as this city's finest came together one last time for an evening of bourbon, House of the Rising Sun and talk of the wild and weird adventures ahead of us all.

Andy: I'm pretty sure I lost a few seconds off my life last night...
Andy: I lead in with the "My roommate is a lightning rod for the weird."
Me: Ha
Andy: Last night was nutty. Nothing like that will ever happen to me a again
Me: I'm sure you will visit NY sometime.
Andy: True enough. Can you get me into a bar past closing time there, too? It's like you've added a line to the song. "Closing Time/It's time for you to go out to the places you will be from/Except you, Mike"

The Wednesday Weekly held its final session this week. A final farewell that had to be experienced rather than written about. There are far to many good people, especially my Old Roommate, who made these last few months/years here bizarre. Too many weird night and wild days to recount here.

Others, like my good friends from the Paragraph Factory and on the Radio Dial, will remain here keeping the WW alive. Always reminding us that someone will be here tending the light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh, but don't think this is the end of the mental vomit on these pages. This is not the end of the Wednesday Weekly. Fuck no, this is merely the intermission... a few days away to allow you to catch your breath and settle your stomach before we grab you by the wrists and drag you screaming into the night once again.

Kansas City, you have been a mean bitch and gracious lover over these past 24 years. We abused the locals, terrorized the help and made fools of ourselves up and down your boulevards.

For all your faults, though, I am still proud to call you Home.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


The on-going theatrics of this national election need a better Director.

I'm voting for Wes Anderson.

From neatorama

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Good Riddance

If there is one institution in the foul city that I will miss, it will undoubtedly be Harry's Country Club.

For three years I and my band of drunken followers have been throwing back yards beers and bourbon at an astounding rate at this Honky-Tonk bar in the heart of the River Market. We would get viciously drunk on Weekdays and yell at Tater and the Gravy train to play Purple Rain or Dancing Queen (both of which he has done with a great a country lilt).

The bartenders and waitresses would serve us until closing and then join us at the Caddy Shack until even they had taken enough abuse from us. They were genuinely good people in an industry that takes a lot of abuse from its customers. They would have a double bourbon on ice ready for me each Wednesday.

Trying to write, let alone blog, some kind of fanboy diatribe about Harry's would not do it justice. Hell, it would probably just come off like some masturbatory entry into this vile dumpster of thought.

Still, its hard to let go of those drunken nights and terrible events that unfolded before us while swilling the best drink on the patio and shouting loudly into the night.

Brooklyn is going to have big shoes to fill when it comes to offering me a neighborhood bar like Harry's.

Of the nights we spent there, I am sure you could come up with a great video montage — if anyone had the foresight to take pictures of videos — that would encapsulate the relationship with Harry's Country Club.

Wait, what's that? You don't like montages or that awful Green Day song that gets played every year at graduation.

Well, tough shit.

I have no idea who these doofers are...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Band Montage!

You know you sing along to Aha every time it comes on at a wedding, reception, prom or that high school homecoming that you "chaperoned" each year.

And you sing it "ironically" when deep down you know that when you go home you will imedietly cue it up on your iPod and rock out and possibly cry a little knowing that you will never find the kind of comic book love that is borne out of a pipe wrench fight... or will I?

This comes from the American Copywriter. Oh, you are welcome in advance...

"This guy is going to get an ass full of pipe wrench."

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Holy dropped argument, Batman!

Debate fever is in full swing.

Coming off the heels of the VP Grin-a-thon, we now have another Presidential debate coming down the pipline.

But the WW decided we needed more this past weekend as we subjected ourselves to nine hours of high school debate as a judge at one Olathe tournament.

So, in light of all the arguments, counter-plans and 90-second answers I offer you one of the greatest debates of our time:

The Penguin vs. Batman in an election that would decide the fate of our great Gotham City.

Only in early 70s television could you get away with the vague racisim of an Irish Police Commissioner making references to bent shalayly

Friday, October 03, 2008

Dear Abby

My Dad is awful when it comes to giving relationship advice. And we are not just talking awful like those bumbling sitcom dads who mumble their way through the birds and the bees...

Oh no, my Dad is just an Ass.

Along with his his years of bitter contempt for the world, he likes to wrap his passive aggressive advice hate into little balls of bile that manage to reveal he still has issues.

On women: "Just remember, women are the tool of the devil..."

"Everything a woman tells you is a lie or an attempt to get something from you."

These, of course, would become my mantras for life at the young age of 14. But more recently, as I revealed that I was moving to NYC with the girlfriend, he once again proves that some of the best advice can only from from Dad:

"It sounds like it will be fun. That is until she kicks you out on your ass, but you are young, you'll recover quickly..."

Thanks Dad!

Patrick and Eugene - The Birds and the Bees